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Thread: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!


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Permlink Replies: 24 - Pages: 2 [ Previous | 1 2 ] - Last Post: Mar 15, 2012 2:58 PM Last Post By: brandscaping
inyun

Posts: 5,850
Registered: 10/16/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 10, 2012 9:08 PM   in response to: brandscaping in response to: brandscaping
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I went back and finished your story. The good news is it got interesting the bad news is that you need to hook the reader by the look inside. Not sure your story does that. Not sure that you had conversations in same paragraphs. It is the lack of indentation that confuses everything. Indent indent indent. In my quick reading I saw no typos but when it comes to commas etc. that is advice that is beyond me. Loved the ending. did not see it coming. Good short story but needs to be given a sense of urgency. When this cloud of gloom disappers i will read again.
inyun

Posts: 5,850
Registered: 10/16/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 10, 2012 9:41 PM   in response to: brandscaping in response to: brandscaping
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You may find this thread interesting.

Feeding the abyss
ignaciodemure

Posts: 1,920
Registered: 11/13/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 10, 2012 10:02 PM   in response to: brandscaping in response to: brandscaping
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ok, wax job over (missed a lot on her upper lip)
glad i came back, fun to read the way you write. love first person
p500
brandscaping

Posts: 235
Registered: 12/26/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 11, 2012 7:53 AM   in response to: ignaciodemure in response to: ignaciodemure
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Glad that her kisses will be less abrasive now -good for both of us, I imagine.

Thanks for having a read, and big thanks to inyun for his support.
It looks like ~10% of the folks that bought the free book came back and bought the other story, so I think that's a step in the right direction.

@Inyun - appreciate the feedback on the indents and conversations, as well as the fact that you went and had a second look. Danke!

  • the canuck!
inyun

Posts: 5,850
Registered: 10/16/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 11, 2012 10:13 AM   in response to: inyun in response to: inyun
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Woke up and feel a bit more cheerful Going to take 2nd look. Was worm helpful?

We are making a concerted effort to help others, so that in March of 2013 and a new band of young turks arrive, we will be able to lament the passing of the good old days.

Cheers,

Thom
brandscaping

Posts: 235
Registered: 12/26/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 12, 2012 8:28 AM   in response to: inyun in response to: inyun
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Sounds like an excellent idea - the helping part, notsomuch the lamenting part...

Appreciate your help and feedback, and if I can return the favour don't hesitate to call.

j
inyun

Posts: 5,850
Registered: 10/16/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 12, 2012 10:53 AM   in response to: brandscaping in response to: brandscaping
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Did the Worm help out?
brandscaping

Posts: 235
Registered: 12/26/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 12, 2012 11:49 AM   in response to: inyun in response to: inyun
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I think so, though I'm unsure of what the p500 means.
If I don't understand something, I just assume it's a compliment. Life is much better that way :-)

In the other thread, you asked Poodle to help - not sure if that's your pet name for worm?

tweaked...


Message was edited by: brandscaping

inyun

Posts: 5,850
Registered: 10/16/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 12, 2012 12:45 PM   in response to: brandscaping in response to: brandscaping
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Whenever poodle500 gets on kdp's nerves he reappears in another form. He is a shapeshifter. Not sure that Saintmaurice is not the worm in a new disguise.
brandscaping

Posts: 235
Registered: 12/26/11
Re: Instead of complaining about a fake review, i put my story up for free!
Posted: Mar 15, 2012 2:58 PM   in response to: inyun in response to: inyun
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funny - in the days following the free offer on my Demons story, now my other short story is doing well.
Not sure why it's moving up the anthologie charts, but I'm not one to complain (once you get to know me, you'll see that's not true...but for now, you can believe me!)

thanks again for your help and support - much appreciated.

anything I can do to return the favor?
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