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Permlink Replies: 18 - Pages: 2 [ 1 2 | Next ] - Last Post: Dec 15, 2017 2:18 PM Last Post By: C. Gold
Mr Carl D Nuttall

Posts: 6
Registered: 10/16/17
Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 9, 2017 2:59 PM
 
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My book "Short Stories For Kids: Amazing Animal Adventures (24 mini books for children) isn't picking up as much interest as I expected! I would understand why this was for book 2 as I don't yet have any cover art but book 1 does so I don't understand why my royalties are so low. Anybody any ideas please? I am also advertising the book externally which is a bit worrying!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0785GPNSB
C. Gold

Posts: 1,040
Registered: 02/17/15
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 9, 2017 5:26 PM   in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall
 
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I just looked at a wide range of top selling kids books for ages 3-7 and they were all illustrated in vibrant colors.

I looked at your Look Inside and the repetitive use of the full name for everyone was annoying and might put off adults who are the buyers of kid's books. I didn't see any other kid's books doing this with names.

Also, for the cheetah story, the end is saying there's always someone faster and stronger, so he will give up racing. Giving up because you got beat once or won't always win might not be the right message for young kids that parents are seeking.

Check out the top selling children's books and see what they are doing because that's what the adults are buying.
resteasy

Posts: 908
Registered: 07/02/12
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 9, 2017 5:26 PM   in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall
 
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1) Children's books are a hard sell if you're not a well-known children's book author. 2) Maybe it doesn't hook parents, who are the arbiters of what they consider appropriate for their children. 3) Perhaps you need to direct your advertising more specifically to promotion sites that pitch to the children's book market. 4)
Most promotion sites tend to pitch books that are in the most popular saleable genres. Hence back to 1).
Emily Veinglory

Posts: 3,570
Registered: 04/25/13
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 9, 2017 6:26 PM   in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall
 
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You book does not seem to be correctly formatted with erratic paragraphing and a space after hyphens.
bobperrett

Posts: 226
Registered: 09/09/12
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 9, 2017 7:59 PM   in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall
 
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You have "teh" instead of "the" in the blurb ...
George Garrigues

Posts: 237
Registered: 08/13/15
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 10, 2017 8:40 PM   in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall
 
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Mr. Nuttall, I am sorry, but "The fast cheetah called Peter" sounds like the cheetah wanted to talk to Peter on the telephone. I believe you should withdraw the book and have an editor check it for problems like that. Maybe then you'd have more interest in your work. Good luck!
TedNguyen1234

Posts: 2
Registered: 12/11/17
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 11, 2017 1:16 AM   in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall
 
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Correct some of the typos and you'll create a better first impression
Laura

Posts: 33
Registered: 10/19/17
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 11, 2017 1:46 AM   in response to: George Garrigues in response to: George Garrigues
 
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George Garrigues wrote:
Mr. Nuttall, I am sorry, but "The fast cheetah called Peter" sounds like the cheetah wanted to talk to Peter on the telephone. I believe you should withdraw the book and have an editor check it for problems like that. Maybe then you'd have more interest in your work. Good luck!
Not to me it doesn't. The cheetah's name is Peter is how I perceived the sentence. The fast cheetah rang Peter or The fast cheetah phoned Peter to me would indicate speaking on the phone.
Laura

Posts: 33
Registered: 10/19/17
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 11, 2017 2:01 AM   in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall in response to: Mr Carl D Nuttall
 
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You have some major issues with proofreading and editing. Your potential customers are parents, and I'm sorry, but any parent with even a basic education would be put off by the problematic punctuation and lack of English comprehension in your book. I certainly would not consider buying your book in its current state for my nieces and nephews.

"Hello Mr Alligator, what's your name" asked Peter? (Why on earth is there a question mark after Peter?) -> "Hello, Mr Alligator. What's your name?" asked Peter.

"I don't think you are" said Andy the Alligator. -> "I don't think you are," said Andy the Alligator.

You are in urgent need of a good editor/proofreader. Better yet, learn the basics yourself without breaking the bank. Spend a couple of quid on a decent grammar book. Read quality fiction. See how other authors do it.

Another thing - why is Rafaela Sinopoli listed as writing the preface? I didn't see any preface and as far as I can tell, she's the cover artist.
allan dudson

Posts: 266
Registered: 04/21/15
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 11, 2017 2:11 AM   in response to: Laura in response to: Laura
 
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Laura wrote:
George Garrigues wrote:
Mr. Nuttall, I am sorry, but "The fast cheetah called Peter" sounds like the cheetah wanted to talk to Peter on the telephone. I believe you should withdraw the book and have an editor check it for problems like that. Maybe then you'd have more interest in your work. Good luck!
Not to me it doesn't. The cheetah's name is Peter is how I perceived the sentence. The fast cheetah rang Peter or The fast cheetah phoned Peter to me would indicate speaking on the phone.

No, no, no, you're incorrect here. We do say "called" when refering to using the telephone. In order to make a bit more sence, it should have been worded, "The fast cheetah called out to Peter", or, "The fast cheetah, who was called Peter". I have not read the book, so I don't know the context, but I can see what Goerge is saying.
Laura

Posts: 33
Registered: 10/19/17
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 11, 2017 2:22 AM   in response to: allan dudson in response to: allan dudson
 
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allan dudson wrote:
Laura wrote:
George Garrigues wrote:
Mr. Nuttall, I am sorry, but "The fast cheetah called Peter" sounds like the cheetah wanted to talk to Peter on the telephone. I believe you should withdraw the book and have an editor check it for problems like that. Maybe then you'd have more interest in your work. Good luck!
Not to me it doesn't. The cheetah's name is Peter is how I perceived the sentence. The fast cheetah rang Peter or The fast cheetah phoned Peter to me would indicate speaking on the phone.

No, no, no, you're incorrect here. We do say "called" when refering to using the telephone. In order to make a bit more sence, it should have been worded, "The fast cheetah called out to Peter", or, "The fast cheetah, who was called Peter". I have not read the book, so I don't know the context, but I can see what Goerge is saying.


I'm incorrect in how I perceived that sentence? By the way, I wasn't entirely disagreeing with George, just offering an alternative viewpoint.
C. Gold

Posts: 1,040
Registered: 02/17/15
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 11, 2017 3:31 AM   in response to: allan dudson in response to: allan dudson
 
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It would have been much better to drop the cumbersome 'fast cheetah called Peter' every time she mentioned that character. Peter would suffice, or Peter, the fast cheetah.
allan dudson

Posts: 266
Registered: 04/21/15
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 11, 2017 11:39 PM   in response to: Laura in response to: Laura
 
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So sorry, I forgot some people simply can't be wrong. By the way, no matter how you perceived that sentence, the only time it works like that, is if an eight year old wrote it, or a non speaker of the English language. "The boy called Peter, the girl called Jane and Pat the dog called Pat" ... I think George knew what it meant, he was just saying that it didn't look right, in which I agree.... Have a drink.
allan dudson

Posts: 266
Registered: 04/21/15
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 11, 2017 11:54 PM   in response to: C. Gold in response to: C. Gold
 
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I agree. What if Mr. Kipling had been so unimaginative with the names of his jungle friends while enjoying an exceedingly good cake. Although I have just realised why... "Peter the cheetah"... it rhymes.

Edited by: allan dudson on Dec 12, 2017 12:08 AM

Edited by: allan dudson on Dec 12, 2017 12:12 AM
D I PORTER

Posts: 63
Registered: 03/07/16
Re: Not much interest in my stories
Posted: Dec 14, 2017 1:57 PM   in response to: allan dudson in response to: allan dudson
 
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allan dudson wrote:
I agree. What if Mr. Kipling had been so unimaginative with the names of his jungle friends while enjoying an exceedingly good cake.

Indeed. We have a panther called "Bagheera" (Hindi for "panther"), a tiger called "Shere Khan" ("Lord Tiger"), a bear called "Baloo" (...guess what?), an elephant called "Hathi" (you can see how this is going) and so on. :D

Edited by: D I PORTER on Dec 14, 2017 1:57 PM
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