All a sudden I'm wanting to throw my computer out of the window. So the question is, how many times does "as" show up in your book? I have been removing the word as...all morning. I still have 81 "as she" phrases to go. Is there a magic number? Helpppppp.
I usually get caught up with the word, 'but'. Then, when I read it over, I find if I just delete that nasty 'drive me crazy' word and put a period in, it works better! Wish I could help but I am in my own edits hell with a 90,000 word book of my own.
Note that there's a content warning on the blog, because it belongs to an erotic writer. But the post itself is about a free program that helps you check for overused words, and there is nothing about sex in the post and no naughty pics on that page. You could open that page in front of kids.
OK, that's not terrible. I agreed that you don't want it over and over again. But you can leave some.
"Stop looking at my toes!" cried Summer; and then turning, she ran down the street.
"Stop looking at my toes!" cried Summer, running down the street.
(I'm glad that's not a real sentence, though, because she couldn't really be crying that and running at the same time, I don't think, and no one could be looking at her toes while she's running. But never mind all that!)
"Stop looking at my toes!" Summer furiously pulled on her socks and stomped off down the street.
That last one is a very nice way to get rid of that kind of construction--eliminate the dialogue attribution all together, and just go on to your next sentence. If the person's name is close enough, it'll be quite clear.
I wrote my first book (yet to be published), 80K words. Then I got Self-Editing for Fiction Writers and noticed I'd used a lot of "as". So, I used search and replace to highlight them all, then looked at each one to decide if needed to stay (a few did) or go. I took out over 1000. And I've never had a problem putting so many in again either!
If you're noticing you've got too many in there, shake it up a bit.
"Stop looking at my toes!" she yelled, running down the street.
"Stop looking at my toes!" she yelled, and ran down the street.
You might also want to put it up for a little while and work on something else. Take a break for a week or two and clear your mind with a different plot and characters. When you pick up your editing again, if 'as' really is a problem, you'll know for certain then.