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Permlink Replies: 6 - Pages: 1 - Last Post: Dec 12, 2012 1:49 PM Last Post By: 76year2
76year2

Posts: 1,552
Registered: 11/29/11
Another question.
Posted: Dec 12, 2012 11:11 AM
 
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The Question is, is this enough to describe the farm, occupation , time of year and age of Jake. I’ve deleted some in between paragraphs to shorten up this post. The paragraphs talks of other things.

0.--Chapter One----The killing of my family

0. Tells that the family was killed in this chapter and would be of no importance, except for motive to go after Patterson.--??

1.--(A large deer track was on the trail, and I moved as quietly as possible so as not to jump him from his bed or his feeding too soon. My rifle primed and ready, while watching ahead as well as watching the trail. As I peered through the last bit of brush at the open field a squirrel chattered at me. I saw the deer look my way, before bounding away. Raising my rifle as I set the trigger, and cocking the hammer, I took careful aim at the now trotting deer. Then touching the trigger, at the sound of my rifle the buck went down. After field dressing the deer, I went for my father’s horse I had left a half mile back. Fresh meat on the table and my mother cooked the heart and liver for supper.)

1. The above paragraph is only to show that hunting for food was a way of life. Of no real importance to the story.--??

2.--(Father had set us all down and told us he had sold the crops, and the distilled spirits at a good profit.)

2. Shows what father done--crops=farm,--distilled spirits=good booze--??

3.--(My two younger sisters, Clara, who was fourteen and nearly grown, Elisabeth twelve, both had got a engraved golden cross and a pretty pair of shoes for going to church on Sunday.)

3. Shows age and the cross that is important.--the crosses--??

4.--(Me now, I would be twenty years old next month on December 20th, and would ask Adilene to marry me. When I was married, my father said he would give me a hundred acres on the west side of our farm, where there was an old cabin. I would have to build a larger house on it, and we could work all the land together. Tomorrow will be Sunday and I would see Adilene at church, and ride home with her family and maybe ask her then. Adilene was a year older than me, but that didn’t make any difference to me.)

4. Shows Jake’s age and Adilene’s, time of year, and the farm again.--??

(Sometimes I would stay there in the barn all night, and had a bed all made up in the loft. Adilene soon joined me, and we were quickly in my bed in the hay. Abilene was as usual, wild in her lovemaking. We lay in the loft after we were through making love; that’s when she said before I could ask her to marry me.
“Jake, we can’t do this anymore for a while, Mr. Patterson asked my father for my hand, and father said he could marry me.)

5. First time name Jake’s name was mentioned. In a couple pages more and the family gets killed. So only one is left in the book.
campcomms

Posts: 290
Registered: 03/03/12
Re: Another question.
Posted: Dec 12, 2012 11:23 AM   in response to: 76year2 in response to: 76year2
 
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Yes.
Derek

Posts: 72
Registered: 10/12/12
Re: Another question.
Posted: Dec 12, 2012 12:37 PM   in response to: 76year2 in response to: 76year2
 
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looks good. =) makes sense
happy writing
campcomms

Posts: 290
Registered: 03/03/12
Re: Another question.
Posted: Dec 12, 2012 1:43 PM   in response to: campcomms in response to: campcomms
 
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I changed my mind.

No.
campcomms

Posts: 290
Registered: 03/03/12
Re: Another question.
Posted: Dec 12, 2012 1:43 PM   in response to: campcomms in response to: campcomms
 
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Wait.

Maybe.

Edited by: campcomms on Dec 12, 2012 1:43 PM
campcomms

Posts: 290
Registered: 03/03/12
Re: Another question.
Posted: Dec 12, 2012 1:43 PM   in response to: campcomms in response to: campcomms
 
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No. For sure ...

Yes.

Edited by: campcomms on Dec 12, 2012 1:43 PM
76year2

Posts: 1,552
Registered: 11/29/11
Re: Another question.
Posted: Dec 12, 2012 1:47 PM   in response to: campcomms in response to: campcomms
 
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Gee! Thanks! Those are the kind of answers I waas hopeing for. But I expected a lot more.

Off to golfing see ya later.

Edited by: 76year2 on Dec 12, 2012 1:48 PM
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