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Thread: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales


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Permlink Replies: 10 - Pages: 1 - Last Post: Jun 14, 2016 11:37 AM Last Post By: richard
richard

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Registered: 05/21/16
Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 10, 2016 12:53 AM
 
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I'm working on a series of 6 stories set in a town called Newton. The first 3 are available on Amazon and nook. The final 3 stories are almost complete, Heather's Scar is story 4 and will be available next week. If you want to get volumes 1-3 FREE plus Heather's Scar FREE join my mailing list at www.riksmadness.com could i have some honest reviews please, would obviously be more suited to horror fans.

The Engagement the first story in the series. Sally is just 18 and studying coputer scinece in college and dating Derek the top basketball player in college.
Derek is capable of something she never expected. One night after beating and leaving her for dead. Sally recovers and now at 25 she meets Matt. The young lovers have been together only 6 months when Matt proposes, Sally asks if he can go out to celebrate their engagement at the club but he has a prior work commitment. Sally and her friends go to the local club and party hard, a group of men join the ladies as the night wares on.
Sally starts to feel strange, the drinks... they have been drugged. Sally awakes in a basement with her friend Amanda, the two are tortured but eventually escape from the basement. When they get up the stairs into the main building they discover the horrific truth about why they was brought there and the sick fate that awaits them.

Room 242 follows Lisa who is the younger sister of Amber from The Engagement. Lisa works at the local Wicca shop in Newton and she has a crush on Justin Dawson. Justin has had a troubled past which he doesnt speak of. Lisa soon finds herself being stalked by Chris. Chris is a true mad man who is broadcasting his murders from his flat on the deep web. You will be thrust into the killers room as he acts out his sadistic murders while being paid bitcoins by his viewers. He plans to make Lisa his next victim but has be bitten off more than he can chew with this victim?

Deep Web is the third story and will be available in 2 weeks. Justin has just lost his job for arguing with his boss because he didnt get paid his overtime for the third week. He retuns to work under cover of darkness and burns his boss's office. returning home believing he has gotten away with it Justin awakes the next day with the police at his parents door asking him to come in for questioning.
a hidden video comes forward exposing Justin as the arsonist, after a short trial he gets away with community service anda fine. during his community service he befriends a group of men who discuss the deep web and a secret show they watch called room 242. Justin is naturally curious and looks at the list of websites they give him to look at. soon Justin finds himself being aroused by the violence he is watching.
How deep will Justin fall into the pit he has created? can he crawl out or is he destined to become a monster like the man he is watching?

99p/99c each
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01DUA274I
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01EX81634
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01G7KOHK0

but if you want to buy all 3 its £1.72/$2.50
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01G7POZ6G

Edited by: richard on Jun 10, 2016 12:53 AM

campcomms

Posts: 270
Registered: 03/03/12
Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 10, 2016 10:24 AM   in response to: richard in response to: richard
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Richard:

I only read the first two sentences of your first short story. You are going to be angry of course but I write the truth. Your grammar and punctuation and sentence structure are not very good and you have used two tenses -- present and past -- improperly.

Then I gave up.

Either continue in school taking English and/or writing courses or hire a good editor who can walk you through the principles of composition.

If you are young as I suspect, don't rush the publishing process. Learn first, and meanwhile let all your family and friends read your stuff as you go along.

Written with all respect to your efforts.
richard

Posts: 7
Registered: 05/21/16
Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 10, 2016 11:54 AM   in response to: campcomms in response to: campcomms
 
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actually it was my editor that did that. Looks like i need a new editor. im not too young i'm 30 but its also my fault i shouldh've checked the files properly

Edited by: richard on Jun 10, 2016 11:54 AM

Edited by: richard on Jun 10, 2016 11:56 AM
kallen11

Posts: 834
Registered: 03/13/10
Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 10, 2016 12:19 PM   in response to: richard in response to: richard
 
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Welcome to self-publishing, where you don't get the luxury of blaming anyone else for what's in the book you put on the market.
Ralph E Vaughan

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Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 10, 2016 5:15 PM   in response to: richard in response to: richard
 
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richard wrote:
actually it was my editor that did that. Looks like i need a new editor. im not too young i'm 30 but its also my fault i shouldh've checked the files properly

Edited by: richard on Jun 10, 2016 11:54 AM

Edited by: richard on Jun 10, 2016 11:56 AM


If you have an editor who does this you don't have an editor, you have a dolt. But it's not the dolt who gets the bad reviews and the trashed reputation. Welcome to Writers World.
richard

Posts: 7
Registered: 05/21/16
Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 14, 2016 6:10 AM   in response to: campcomms in response to: campcomms
 
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I have been working on the mistakes and have found a new editor. The past and present tense problems i'm looking through and sorting out the structure too. I appreciate your feedback, would you consider having another look?
Reba

Posts: 660
Registered: 02/11/16
Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 14, 2016 6:42 AM   in response to: richard in response to: richard
 
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I just had my first look and the tenses are all over the place. 'Sally moves her hair which was obscuring...' And so it goes on. If you don't know one tense from another, you should learn before you attempt to publish anything.
james

Posts: 1,283
Registered: 09/25/12
Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 14, 2016 8:50 AM   in response to: richard in response to: richard
 
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Just read a little but your tales seem very well written and interesting.
I think you might do well, and in this case I think the series thing will work out well.
One suggestion, though. After you have done six stories, compile them all into a book, saying "collective works, volume 1," priced at six dollars.
Then do six more and then a compilation of volume 2.
You seem very talented and you are only going to get better. Best wishes
richard

Posts: 7
Registered: 05/21/16
Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 14, 2016 9:15 AM   in response to: james in response to: james
 
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That's what i was going to do, as for another series i'm already working on a fantasy novel series with short stories for supporting characters and smaller adventures for the main character. And also working on a sci-fi where the aliens are already on Earth and have been for millions of years.
uncle1282

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Registered: 12/20/10
Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 14, 2016 11:00 AM   in response to: richard in response to: richard
 
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Grammar aside, collections of short stories don't sell well. Try "stitching" a bunch together for a novel length, say at least 50 or 60k long. Good luck.
richard

Posts: 7
Registered: 05/21/16
Re: Newton Town A Series of Dark Tales
Posted: Jun 14, 2016 11:37 AM   in response to: uncle1282 in response to: uncle1282
 
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doing that too once the mistakes have been sorted so people can get individual copies or the first/last three and another block of all 6
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