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Vanya

Posts: 27
Registered: 06/19/17
Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 15, 2017 2:52 AM
 
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Hi All,

Apologies if the question has been asked before. But I am fairly new to the forums and wanted to check as to why is my book not selling. I recently enrolled in KDP select to provide a greater visibility of the book but no effect. Neither there is any sort of traction on the KENP pages. A few people who read the book found it well written so quality does not seem to be an issue. You all can check, the book is called, 'Awake Under the Night Sky'.
I have not started any Amazon marketing as yet.

Any view would be helpful.

Thanks
Vanya

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Awake-Under-Night-Vanya-Sharma-ebook/dp/B073VRQHFX/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510743164&sr=8-1&keywords=awake+under+the+night+sky

https://www.amazon.com/Awake-Under-Night-Vanya-Sharma/dp/197623333X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510743192&sr=8-1&keywords=awake+under+the+night+sky

Edited by: Vanya on Nov 15, 2017 2:52 AM
Simon Farrance

Posts: 45
Registered: 03/10/16
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 15, 2017 3:39 PM   in response to: Vanya in response to: Vanya
 
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I recommend having his body partially on the raft, instead of half his body on the raft, making me wonder what happened to the other half. I’m not keen on seeing both at least and after all in the first two paragraphs. Honestly, I found nothing that drew me in. Sorry.

Also highly suspect reviews don’t sell books.
Moshe Ben-Or

Posts: 580
Registered: 12/28/15
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 15, 2017 5:43 PM   in response to: Vanya in response to: Vanya
 
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Your cover is worthless. Zero visual impact. Zero connection to the opening pages of the book. Zero probability of attracting clicks in an ad.

Your blurb is rubbish. It means nothing. It attracts no one. It cannot produce sales even if, by some miracle, your awful cover attracted a click.

Your formatting clearly uses absolute indent measures instead of em in the text-indent css attribute of the p tag. The result is a look inside that is unreadable. Look inside discards absolute indents. As result, the paragraph breaks are all but invisible. You also have a giant block of pointless acknowledgement blather to repel the reader. If you can't make acknowledgements into a single paragraph of no longer than six sentences, put the acknowledgements at the end.

Beside these three, minor things like forgetting to put paragraph breaks after speech and using single quotes when double quotes should be used are minor issues.

You do not write badly, and your story might be worth reading. But given the disastrous presentation, no one will bother. Go fix this mess.
Traveler321

Posts: 222
Registered: 10/01/16
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 15, 2017 7:14 PM   in response to: Vanya in response to: Vanya
 
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Vanya

Posts: 27
Registered: 06/19/17
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 7:14 AM   in response to: Simon Farrance in response to: Simon Farrance
 
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Thanks. That's a good suggestion. I should have mentioned it's a cross between women's fiction and romance. So if you are a avid reader in that genre then the book is for you!!

Edited by: Vanya on Nov 17, 2017 7:14 AM
Cynthia E. Gould

Posts: 96
Registered: 03/14/17
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 9:51 AM   in response to: Vanya in response to: Vanya
 
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The cover is bad. Is it supposed to be moody? It's just muddy and looks cheap.

The reviews are obviously fake. Actually cringe-worthy. Surprised they haven't been reported.
Mrs Julia Evans

Posts: 871
Registered: 05/22/16
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 10:42 AM   in response to: Vanya in response to: Vanya
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Vanya,

I've been thinking about your cover for a day or two, because I knew it wasn't good. I just didn't know why I didn't like it. I've finally put my finger on it, and it's because it's childish. It's not really representative of a book for adults (or even young adults). (Not that I'm usually looking at covers when I buy books, but I freely accept that I'm possibly in a minority of one.)

It's your blurb that really needs work. The nicest I can be about it is to say it comes across as melodramatic clap-trap! Again, not appropriate for your target audience. Stop trying to be so arty, and actually tell the readers something about the story.

I started to read the first few chapters, and I can't say it was horrible or boring. That I read beyond page one is a very good sign. Normally the stuff we get asked to look at here doesn't hold my attention for more than a few paragraphs.

What I would strongly recommend you do, is go back and look at your conversations. People don't speak 'properly' all the time, especially when they're talking to friends and family. They abbreviate words to make conversation flow. Yours have barely been abbreviated at all, and they sound very unnatural and stilted. I got tired reading them really quickly.

The sort of comparison I'd make is a kid saying to their dad - "Yes, father. I'd like a cup of tea, very much, thank you, " when most kids would actually say - "Thanks, dad. I'd love a cup of tea" or something like that. Does that make sense? You need to make it more realistic.

There could be a really good book underneath what we can see, but you still have quite a bit of work to do.

I hope you're not put off by the criticism, as it's intended to help you make your book the best it can be.

These are just my thoughts.

Best wishes. J
Moshe Ben-Or

Posts: 580
Registered: 12/28/15
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 10:55 AM   in response to: Mrs Julia Evans in response to: Mrs Julia Evans
 
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The sort of comparison I'd make is a kid saying to their dad - "Yes, father. I'd like a cup of tea, very much, thank you, " when most kids would actually say - "Thanks, dad. I'd love a cup of tea" or something like that. Does that make sense?

No, it does not. This is massively culturally dependent. Plenty of places out there where failing to address one's father as "sir" gets you an instant slap to the face. People speak as appropriate to their age, gender, religion, class and social standing. Somehow, I do not see the OPs characters as being Americans living in California.
Diana Persaud

Posts: 2,696
Registered: 10/07/13
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 11:03 AM   in response to: Moshe Ben-Or in response to: Moshe Ben-Or
 
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Moshe Ben-Or wrote:
The sort of comparison I'd make is a kid saying to their dad - "Yes, father. I'd like a cup of tea, very much, thank you, " when most kids would actually say - "Thanks, dad. I'd love a cup of tea" or something like that. Does that make sense?

No, it does not. This is massively culturally dependent. Plenty of places out there where failing to address one's father as "sir" gets you an instant slap to the face. People speak as appropriate to their age, gender, religion, class and social standing. Somehow, I do not see the OPs characters as being Americans living in California.


While that may be true, it's not true for the majority of the world and it's certainly not true for the majority of Vanya's potential readers. If she wants to make money, the majority of those sales are going to come from the US and readers expect characters to be more lax in their conversation. She isn't writing a historical, but a contemporary book.

Vanya, your cover and pitch need to be revamped. Neither one says Romance or New Adult. Your cover isn't targeting your readers. Study the top 100 covers and pitches in Romance and New Adult and see what customers are looking for.

Good luck!
Elodie

Posts: 741
Registered: 03/23/14
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 2:01 PM   in response to: Moshe Ben-Or in response to: Moshe Ben-Or
 
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Moshe Ben-Or wrote:
The sort of comparison I'd make is a kid saying to their dad - "Yes, father. I'd like a cup of tea, very much, thank you, " when most kids would actually say - "Thanks, dad. I'd love a cup of tea" or something like that. Does that make sense?

No, it does not. This is massively culturally dependent. Plenty of places out there where failing to address one's father as "sir" gets you an instant slap to the face. People speak as appropriate to their age, gender, religion, class and social standing. Somehow, I do not see the OPs characters as being Americans living in California.

Where I grew up (in the 80's and 90's), if our dad asked us if we wanted a cup of tea, we'd simply say "yeah" or "no". No please, no thank you's. (That was a different country and culture), but I suspect it's like that with a lot of teens/YA's/NA's nowadays. They don't take their eyes off of their phones/tablets and all you can get out of them is a yay or nay. Even my 10-yo niece is already like that.
Elodie

Posts: 741
Registered: 03/23/14
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 2:07 PM   in response to: Vanya in response to: Vanya
 
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Vanya, while I like your cover -apart from the cloud with title and name- to some extend (and I seem to be one of the few), it doesn't exactly say 'woman's fiction'.
To me your cover is more similar to John green and Cecilia Ahern.
They're both more in the N/A and Coming of Age cats.
Elodie

Posts: 741
Registered: 03/23/14
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 2:33 PM   in response to: Vanya in response to: Vanya
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Vanya; here's something (quickly mocked up) that's more 'woman fiction' appropriate.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Mrs Julia Evans

Posts: 871
Registered: 05/22/16
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 2:55 PM   in response to: Moshe Ben-Or in response to: Moshe Ben-Or
 
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Moshe,

The example I gave was a random example of speech, unconnected to the OP's book, which I'm sure she knows. Her story is not reflective of the society you refer to, so I think my comments are quite relevant, at least from my reading of the first few chapters of her book.

I think she will have understood what I was trying to convey, which is what matters.

Best wishes. J
Jonathan B

Posts: 4,596
Registered: 10/23/12
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 7:04 PM   in response to: Diana Persaud in response to: Diana Persaud
 
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Diana Persaud wrote:
While that may be true, it's not true for the majority of the world and it's certainly not true for the majority of Vanya's potential readers. If she wants to make money, the majority of those sales are going to come from the US and readers expect characters to be more lax in their conversation. She isn't writing a historical, but a contemporary book.

Good point.
Jonathan B

Posts: 4,596
Registered: 10/23/12
Re: Why is my book not selling and KENP
Posted: Nov 17, 2017 7:05 PM   in response to: Elodie in response to: Elodie
 
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I rather like that cover, Elodie.
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