Today was a pretty easy day at my f**king job (thank god I remembered to show up, geez Dill).
First, I told Joey that he was famous all over the internet for coining the word “Dickle”. He said, “Yeah, right. All five of the forum members will know about me. Great.” I never really knew that retards really do get sarcasm.
Speaking of coining, I asked all of my students to get out any paper money that their mommies or daddies had given them for lunchtime. Then I pulled out a huge jar of pennies, dickels, dimes, and quarters. I said, “Okay class, today and today only, I will trade any of you up to two coins, of your very own choosing, and all you have to give me in return is one paper bill. Any takers?”
Then I taught them about ISBNs. “You see class, there are just sooooo many books out there, that we finally decided to give them all numbers, just to help keep track.” Frankly, I think they understood the concept better than a lot of the folks here.
Then I told Joey that I just had to take his picture, or else people wouldn't believe me about my f**king job. He said, “What's in it for me, old man?” Joey is savvy, you see. I said, “If you agree to a picture, I will somehow persuade Colleen Hoover to write you your very own children's book, all about you.” I held my breath.
“Colleen Hoover?! That chick is tits.” said Joey. “It's a deal. And it had better not be one of those 17 page children's books with 99% pictures, and some crappy crap that could never ever pass for poetry! I've heard a lot about those kinds of scams lately.”
“It won't be,” I said. “I promise.” And then I asked him, ”How big do you think the market would be for a book, any book, written by Colleen Hoover and Kenny Dill?”
And then I snapped his picture:
Next, I taught them about bullies. “If you ever see someone being a bully to someone else, find a way to punch that dude in the ****. Just focus on the ****. And if that bully ever gets back up and starts to bully anyone else, ever, you just go right back to punching that dude in the ****. Over and over and over, as hard as you can.” I was gonna have them start practicing that **** on each other, just in case they ever did run into a bully, but just then the bell rang and I was already out the door.
p.s. I wonder what kind of messed up edumation kids in public schools get these days... send your kids to a world-renowned private Catholic School already, people. Geez!
Not trying to rile you up or anything but I do not think you are meant to teach. I would also guess that you are teaching on the strength of your degree and the school does not require a teaching credential. I got my California Teaching Credential from U C Berkeley when I was in my 60s. I taught for the Oakland Unified School District for 6 years and I have taught special needs children. It disturbs me that you refer to your students as retards. You are suppose to be a professional, act like one.
I turned down a full scholarship to Berkeley for mechanical engineering. Re-read the story already. My students are clearly not any more re-tarded than you or I.
Words mean what you tell them to mean. Nothing more, nothing less. sorry inyun. i just feel real strong about some words and their place in the world. i'm trying to change that ignorant bull****. please help in any way you can.
Hey, I am smart enough to know that you could be tracked down within an hour and I am sure the school would not approve of your post. So protect yourself, swallow your feelings and let this post disappear. Better yet get Amazon to get it to go away. This could cost you your job.
Here's something just a little lighter and perhaps to take one's mind off what has just been written.
My Police Dog Bess was a dog that I could trust , enjoy and have fun with, safe in the knowledge that she could and would turn 'it' on if and when required.
Here is an extract from a book penned by Bess herself, with just a little help from me....................enjoy....
The head lights picked out the gleaming figures as they ran across Dock Road in front of us. I could see them clearly over Ted's shoulder as they disappeared into the alley at the back of St. Mary’s Church. Ted pulled up at the entrance.
(Me) The two soldiers, having had a good night out had decided to have a laugh on their way back to barracks. They made two mistakes, firstly they decided to ‘streak’ in front of a police vehicle and secondly, they decided to ‘streak’ in front of a police [i]DOG[/i] vehicle.
Ted took me out of the van. I was ready to go. I am sure that he was laughing when he said “Go on, then” quietly and without the usual inspiring challenge. I left him there in Dock Road and ran off into the comparative darkness. It was only a moment or two before I found the two men. Their giggles turned to gasps as they stood there, one hand holding their clothing and the other covering what they considered their most valuable assets. It was a fairly cold night and when I touched my healthy, cold wet nose against the backside of one of them, he leapt forward with a yelp. He probably thought that his end had come as did his friend, when I barked to let Ted know that I had found them.
He came along the footpath, his torchlight dancing in front of him and laughed out loud as he saw the predicament of the two soldiers.
Ted put me on the lead and quietly we followed the two men back to the van, the two sets of white buttocks shining in the torchlight. He put the pair of them in the spare cage where I glared at them through the wire. Their bundles, he placed on the front passenger seat beside him.
The van pulled up outside the guardroom at Brompton barracks and the orderly officer came out to meet us as Ted got out of the van. “Hello, sir. I’ve got two of your men here.” He said as he tried to keep a straight face.
“Oh yes, and what have they been up to?”
Ted opened the back door and the two hapless ‘streakers’ clambered out. The officer and Ted stood against the back of the van and rolled up with laughter as the two naked men with arms and other things swinging, were marched across the parade ground by the very strict guard commander and off towards their barracks ‘Left. Right. Left. Right.’
“They were only having a bit of a giggle really” said Ted and he added, “and there’s no need for further action on my part.”
The officer conceded. “Yes, I think that they have been punished enough. Don’t you?” He chuckled.