I updated the blurb for my book. The one before was pretty short. Can you tell me if this is too long? It's for my Christian short story book and I'm trying to raise funds for a homeless feeding ministry at my local church. Should I emphasize that more than the book?
Your grammer in the first paragraph needs rethinking:
Samuel Rittenberg Tanner- or Sammy, for short- is a rarity in 1960’s Georgia. He’s a rich, semi-retired black man that’s living in the outskirts of Atlanta. Sammy’s battle racism and fought through it all with a smile, a song, and his natural charm. He’s ready for a road trip on his German motorcycle with a sidecar, but he can’t go it alone, so he invites his 17 year-old nephew, Alistair Graham Smith, to take him. Alistair’s lived all of his life in a poor Alabama sharecropper community. He’s never experienced any extravagant lifestyle like his Uncle Sammy has.
Who is instead of that's,
Sammy has battled instead of Sammy's battle,
I would actually do that whole sentence as "Sammy has battled racism, all with a smile, a song, and his natural charm.
An instead of any.
psevbrite, I like it a lot. But shouldn't it be, he invites ....to go with him? Not take with him.
I'm doing this from memory so maybe I got it wrong. Anyway, aside from cleaning up some of the issues pointed out to you, I wouldn't change anything. You might add, down on the bottom, that it's for charity.
• [i]He’s a rich, semi-retired black man [b]who is[/b] living in the outskirts of Atlanta.[/i]
The 'who is' is redundant, IMO. Further, I think the first and second sentence could be combined into one for added effect.
• [i]"He’s ready for a road trip on his German motorcycle with a sidecar, but he can’t [b]go do[/b] it alone..."[/i]
• [i]"When Sammy and Alistair [b]take [/b]an unplanned detour, they [b]run[/b] into something completely unexpected"[/i]
You're mixing your tenses.
You may want to add the bit about the Church at the end of your blurb. Something along the lines of "All proceeds will go to the Church of [[u] [/u]] ....