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Permlink Replies: 19 - Pages: 2 [ 1 2 | Next ] - Last Post: Aug 6, 2012 12:32 PM Last Post By: digilady
divorcedoctor

Posts: 5,539
Registered: 07/11/10
Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 21, 2012 4:27 AM
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Mr Lazer diarrheaized about my covers:

"I'm having trouble telling if you've even had a hand in some of these covers or if you're simply making fourth rate knock-offs and uploading them as customer images? Obviously some of them are so atrocious that I can't help be feel you did them yourself.

Do you seriously attempt to charge people money for those ill-designed amateur "covers" that you've slapped onto a cheesy "3D" cover box? I certainly hope you haven't managed to sucker anyone in for money on such rubbish, because nothing says "low quality" or "amateur" louder than a cheesy cover like that.

There are reasons that many readers have gotten a bad taste in their mouths for "self-published" books. This kind of amateur hour production is the main reason, whether in editing, formatting, cover, or the marketing blurb.

If you're going to put yourself forward as some sort of expert in a field your primary job is to ensure that people (whether clients or not) avoid such mistakes. That you would attempt to profit by taking advantage of those who don't know any better is disgusting.

You should be ashamed of yourself."

OK, here is the deal. I just got latest cover spec from a satisfied customer who has used me for 12 books to date, and it reads

"What I would like is seven small, black snakes with red eyes in an egg shapped circle in the middle of the page (Okay, I can hear you saying "shit, Jackson is nuts" all the way to St. Louis. The "Asps" are my new team...as in the snake Asp...silent but deadly. So I guess some snake would do. Have seen pics of Cleo's Asp in a coiled around a staff, or without the staff, maybe that...as always, hell I don't know."

so your mission is to make such a cover and I will forward it to Mike and if he likes it better than mine I will pass his work over to YOU.

so gofrit mate - OR shut uppa yer face
divorcedoctor

Posts: 5,539
Registered: 07/11/10
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 21, 2012 4:32 PM   in response to: divorcedoctor in response to: divorcedoctor
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so your mission is to make such a cover and I will
forward it to Mike and if he likes it better than
mine I will pass his work over to YOU.

so gofrit mate - OR shut uppa yer face


so where is your cover Mr Lazer?

I should also have specified that most of my covers were produced same day or next after the order, ie customers not only demand quality service but prompt service.

so where is your Asps cover example - maybe you have no asps-erations - lol

does this mean you have opted to extend an apology for your diarrhea and will now shup up a yer face?
notjohn

Posts: 15,241
Registered: 01/06/10
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 21, 2012 5:33 PM   in response to: divorcedoctor in response to: divorcedoctor
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**fourth rate knock-offs**

Fourth-rate knockoff is a pretty good description of DD's work.
jason1601

Posts: 7
Registered: 04/14/12
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 26, 2012 9:06 PM   in response to: notjohn in response to: notjohn
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Where can I see some of these 4th rate covers??
divorcedoctor

Posts: 5,539
Registered: 07/11/10
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 26, 2012 9:56 PM   in response to: jason1601 in response to: jason1601
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Where can I see some of these 4th rate covers??

sorry the competition has ended and here is the result from other thread

*********************

Mr Lazer,

we did not receive your entry for a cover for Birth of the Asps so I went ahead and used my own cover AND Mike Jackson really liked it.

here is book http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008DGBQNI?ref%5F=

here is specification of the mission

"What I would like is seven small, black snakes with red eyes in an egg shapped circle in the middle of the page (Okay, I can hear you saying "shit, Jackson is nuts" all the way to St. Louis. The "Asps" are my new team...as in the snake Asp...silent but deadly. So I guess some snake would do. Have seen pics of Cleo's Asp in a coiled around a staff, or without the staff, maybe that...as always, hell I don't know."

so your mission is to make such a cover and I will forward it to Mike and if he likes it better than mine I will pass his work over to YOU.

so gofrit mate - OR shut uppa yer face

now as Customer Image Gallery does not describe the nuances of the generation of a cover, here we go.

I thought 7 snakes was all too busy to fit onto a cover so I googled a snake head clipart

I resized as needed

I saved as a mirror and a 90 deg turned ver

I arranged using the co-ordinates facility in PSP to locate each of the 7 heads precisely

I gave a red eye to each

the spec for egg shape is satisfied but it is also open at top to give the added illusion of a giant clam, ready to close in on your leg if you are bin Laden

I followed Amazon Guide to google an All American Army type font, per:

Select a font and color scheme appropriate for the tone and subject matter of your book. Rather than relying on default or frequently used fonts, consider websites offering free, commercially-usable, downloadable fonts to create a more unique appearance for your cover. • The Amazon Kindle Store features plenty of top-selling book covers you can review as examples.

Kindle Direct Publishing (2012-04-15). Building Your Book for Kindle (Kindle Locations 211-214). . Kindle Edition.

It all works for me but MORE especially for the CUSTOMER

note that I added the image to the book page as a Customer Image and since the Look Inside took over the former "click to enlarge", a Customer Image is now only way to see a large version of a cover ie 500 high.

I added Compliments divorce doctor underneath BECAUSE the Amazon rules do not allow me to say eg "cover designed by coversareus.com" as Hitch was saying I should do - God knows why.
mrlasers

Posts: 1,633
Registered: 07/06/11
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 26, 2012 10:10 PM   in response to: jason1601 in response to: jason1601
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divorcedoctor is absurdly proud of this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008DGBQNI

If that is the sort of "design" divorcedoctor charges money for I did a great disservice to all the 4th rate designers of the world. This sort of sloppy, amateur work is nothing short of 1st rate theft, at any price. It lacks creativity, imagination, and technical skill. The font selection in particularly is terrible, being both cheesy [i]and[/i] illegible in thumbnail.

Are you in the market for a cover artist, Jason? I'm working with an author who is currently having one done by digitaldonna.com. Her gallery looks pretty good and the pricing is quite reasonable, so you might check that out. The topic also comes up pretty regularly in General Questions, so you might try asking in there or searching up some past threads.

If you fancy having a go at it yourself, there are [i]much[/i] worse places to start than the "14 Tips for Good Kindle Cover Design" post on humblenations.com:
http://humblenations.com/2012/04/12/14-tips-for-good-kindle-cover-design/

Whatever you do, don't pay good money for rubbish work. A poor cover can bury even the greatest book, especially in a marketplace like Amazon where the number of competing titles is so high and you have such a short amount of time to make that all-important first impression.

--
MrLasers
eBook Formatting & Production
http://www.mrlasers.com
divorcedoctor

Posts: 5,539
Registered: 07/11/10
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 26, 2012 10:28 PM   in response to: mrlasers in response to: mrlasers
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divorcedoctor is absurdly proud of this one:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008DGBQNI

no mate, the CUSTOMER is very happy with that one and "the CUSTOMER is always right".

it just happened to be the cover ordered at the time you started to crap outa your gob about my covers, SO I gave you a chance to prove yourself.

You turned out to be the gutless loser we all suspected, ie were not able to give even ONE example of your own work, nor apologise for your notjohn Cartel induced outbursts.

go away lazer the loser
digilady

Posts: 264
Registered: 05/07/12
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 27, 2012 5:29 PM   in response to: mrlasers in response to: mrlasers
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The Doc's link to his cover http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008DGBQNI?ref%5F= neatly answered my question too - as per listing on KDP product page.

I think NOT. Doesn't even look like what the author requested, in any way, shape or form. The clipart is godawful, the font is worse. It looks like it was done by ... ME. (That's the worst insult I know of, for artwork.)

On the other hand, I got a new link for good covers from your post, so life is good!

What the hell is the author thinking, accepting a cover like that? Didn't he check covers for his own genre and sort of go from there? That's what I was told to do at any rate.
divorcedoctor

Posts: 5,539
Registered: 07/11/10
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 27, 2012 6:31 PM   in response to: digilady in response to: digilady
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I think NOT. Doesn't even look like what the author
requested, in any way, shape or form.

see, that is where you bomb out.

it matters not a fig what YOU think as The Customer is Always Right

it's all about marketing dudes

and KNOWING your form ie praising notjohn at your Blog for his example NOT I gave you both a chance to do a BETTER cover

I even offered to show your cover to my client and give YOU the account done 7 already and 8 to go if he liked yours better, so could not be more fair.

but diddly squat was all she wrote

so go away - I told you already we don't like gloves here.
jason1601

Posts: 7
Registered: 04/14/12
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 28, 2012 10:45 AM   in response to: divorcedoctor in response to: divorcedoctor
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I'm not sure, but dd MAY be a genius... his cover looks like a great copy of '80s low-tech pseudo-amateur outsider press like Loompanics, and it may be that that's the quality of the writing/story inside. If so, then that cover is perfect signaling to attract the type of niche reader who would be a match for this book.
punchygonzales

Posts: 2,853
Registered: 11/26/11
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 28, 2012 11:04 AM   in response to: jason1601 in response to: jason1601
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I would say that the state of the cover depends on the cost. I don't know what the author/publisher was willing to spend. If that cover was less than $30 or so, I'd say it's fine for the money. It gets the point across, and the author got what he wanted on the cheap. But if the cover cost 70 or 80 dollars, then I would expect something much fancier. You have to judge a cover by its cost to a large degree because the cost will determine how much time you can spend on it.
digilady

Posts: 264
Registered: 05/07/12
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 28, 2012 3:15 PM   in response to: punchygonzales in response to: punchygonzales
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You have a point, as usual. I am doubting it was 30 bucks, though.

My thoughts are fairly simple: if you can't afford editing, you're in trouble. If you can't afford a decent cover, you're in REAL trouble.

Many, many readers go by that cover. If it isn't well-done-click, onto next book.
divorcedoctor

Posts: 5,539
Registered: 07/11/10
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 28, 2012 4:21 PM   in response to: jason1601 in response to: jason1601
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I'm not sure, but dd MAY be a genius... his cover
looks like a great copy of '80s low-tech
pseudo-amateur outsider press like Loompanics, and it
may be that that's the quality of the writing/story
inside. If so, then that cover is perfect signaling
to attract the type of niche reader who would be a
match for this book.

yes you are starting to understand that this is about marketing and not art. For sure I am no artist but before retiring was an expert in marketing, ie the initial marketing of digital technology outside of America back in 1980s but you are probably too young to remember changing TV channels with a knob!!.

here is a Blog where I agree with an expert from CreateSpace

http://kindlecoversandformat.blogspot.com.au/2011/06/good-oil-on-covers.html
divorcedoctor

Posts: 5,539
Registered: 07/11/10
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 28, 2012 5:27 PM   in response to: digilady in response to: digilady
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You have a point, as usual. I am doubting it was 30
bucks, though.

My thoughts are fairly simple: if you can't afford
editing, you're in trouble. If you can't afford a
decent cover, you're in REAL trouble.

Many, many readers go by that cover. If it isn't
well-done-click, onto next book.


just reading from the free sample


Julius Apelanio (AKA "Shelves" at 99): the winning artist. This fabulous cover brought Shar and Vittorio to life.

Ledevic, Cat. Bloodmate's Bond (Kindle Locations 11-12). LeDevic Publications. Kindle Edition.

OK you held a competition for the artwork on your cover even before paying for the "Photoshopping" into a cover, but your sales rank says you have sold maybe only $20 worth.

where is your ROI? have you over-coverized?

what was all up cost of cover?

what did format cost?

also the idea of TOC at end of book is a dumbass notjohn idea - like IF you have a TOC it should be in the free sample so people can see what is IN the book.

also Hitch is female
divorcedoctor

Posts: 5,539
Registered: 07/11/10
Re: Game on for Mr Lazer
Posted: Jun 28, 2012 5:44 PM   in response to: divorcedoctor in response to: divorcedoctor
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what was all up cost of cover?

but for whatever cost, the thumb would never stop a surfer at 5 tps so no wonder sales are low

see image at thumb size - all you can read is BOND and the typical 2 head at 90 degrees is just so Barbara Cartland you have made the fatal mistake of NOT differentiating your product.

like no way you can see the vampire teeth in thumb so no clue it is a vampire genre

that's your problem, but good side is nobody has given a bad review because they never got TO the book
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