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Thread: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"


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Permlink Replies: 88 - Pages: 6 [ 1 2 3 4 5 | Next ] - Last Post: May 14, 2013 5:19 PM Last Post By: lwards
1001nightspress

Posts: 3,873
Registered: 12/11/11
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 6, 2013 10:02 AM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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I don't think you're ready for a review--you need at a minimum a good proofreader, which makes me wonder if you also need an editor. (Have the proofreader check your blurb, too.)

You need a cover designed for an ebook.

As for whether the story is good, what was the reaction of your beta readers? That should be a good indication.

To get reviews, you could try sending a review copy to book bloggers in your genre. However, do NOT send one that has not been proofread. Reviewer blogs will give you an honest opinion, and they do take things like that into account. Remember, when you self-publish, you're telling the public that you've fulfilled the same duties a traditional publisher has--either you did them yourself, or you hired others to help you. But you can't just skip crucial steps and get the same quality product. Respect the book-buying public, and they will respect you.
Malcolm Higgins

Posts: 15
Registered: 04/06/13
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 6, 2013 10:56 AM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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I have had a look 'inside' your book.

Their names were Yoi and Zeldian, good and evil, balance between the two.

That sentence doesn't make any sense to me. Up to the second comma, makes sense, but the 'balance between the two' doesn't. I kind of know what you're trying to say. I think.
Your next line (the third) has a mistake in it. You have written 'disturb' when you mean 'disturbed' So I probably would have moved on from your book at that point. A mistake in the third line isn't good. This is why you are not getting people reviewing it.

If you cannot afford a proof-reader, then use a 'TEXT to SPEECH program, (there are lots you can download for free) set it to read your book back to you, very slowly. The very slowly part is important, as you will hear the mistakes you have made, and can correct them.

I would also change the cover to look like an eBook cover, and not the jacket from a physical book.

Hope this helps you.

Good luck.
Marquis Mills

Posts: 37
Registered: 05/06/13
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 6, 2013 1:41 PM   in response to: Malcolm Higgins in response to: Malcolm Higgins
 
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Thnx. Making corrections on that part. But the "balance between the two" does make sense. You have to read the story to understand it.
andresanthomas

Posts: 4,998
Registered: 01/01/12
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 6, 2013 3:04 PM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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I need to know if it is good.

Not in its current state.

The cover is a huge problem since it is a front and back cover. It desperately needs an edit. If you fix those things, then maybe it could become "good".
2davidvandyke

Posts: 1,631
Registered: 06/27/12
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 6, 2013 3:30 PM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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It may make some kind of logical sense, but it makes no grammatical sense. Not in English, anyway.

Is English your first language?

You really don't want reviews of this hot mess yet. You need to get it sorted first.
Marquis Mills

Posts: 37
Registered: 05/06/13
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 6, 2013 8:18 PM   in response to: 2davidvandyke in response to: 2davidvandyke
 
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First I came on this thread for a review and advice , not for some crazy people hiding behind screen names to talk bad about my writing when u haven't read the entir story. Yes I made few typos but I fixed them and waiting for it to post.


And don't sit here and questioned my native language

People now of these days...

Edited by: kdpadmin on May 7, 2013 6:25 AM

Malcolm Higgins

Posts: 15
Registered: 04/06/13
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 7, 2013 3:33 AM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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WOW!!!

First I came on this thread for a review and advice , not for some crazy people hiding behind screen names to talk bad about my writing when u haven't read the entir story. Yes I made few typos but I fixed them and waiting for it to post.

PEOPLE ARE GIVING YOU ADVICE. YOU JUST DON'T LIKE THE ADVICE YOU ARE GETTING. CALLING PEOPLE WHO BOTHER TO TRY AND HELP YOU 'CRAZY' IS 'CRAZY' IN ITSELF! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT?

TAKE A LOOK AT HOW MANY TYPOS IN YOUR SENTENCES ABOVE. AFTER 'ADVICE' YOU HAVE A SPACE BEFORE THE COMMA. YOU HAVE WRITTEN 'U' INSTEAD OF 'YOU' AND DID YOU MEAN 'ENTIR' OR DID YOU MEAN 'ENTIRE'

And don't sit here and questioned my native language , you rude bastard.
People now of these days...

CALLING SOMEONE A RUDE BASTARD IS JUST WRONG. I WISHED YOU LUCK YESTERDAY. I TAKE THAT BACK NOW.
I CERTAINLY WOULDN’T PAY MONEY FOR YOUR BOOK. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOUR BOOK IS FREE TO DOWNLOAD, AS I WOULD LIKE TO DOWNLOAD IT. READ IT. THEN GIVE A NO-HOLDS-BARRED REVIEW FOR YOU. LIKE YOU’VE ASKED FOR.
crazywriterlady

Posts: 4,230
Registered: 09/18/12
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 7, 2013 4:26 AM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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I need to know if it is good.

The above is from your original post. If you can't handle an honest critique from people who know what they're talking about, asking things like this is the wrong approach.

This is not the special snowflake forum.
Mike Beach

Posts: 545
Registered: 04/08/13
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 7, 2013 5:02 AM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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Marquis, please settle down.

These are experts providing you with some great advice and you're taking offense to that advice.

If you will not accept the experts advice, then your experience with your ebook will be: it sits there on Amazon and draws cyber dust into obscurity.

I'm new here, and surely not an expert so my advice does not carry much weight - but - you should read, comprehend and implement what these other Authors have written.
Guess what happens when you do that? Your product improves immensely.
Marquis Mills

Posts: 37
Registered: 05/06/13
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 7, 2013 5:08 AM   in response to: Malcolm Higgins in response to: Malcolm Higgins
 
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First of I'm in a forum and yes I used U instead of you...I'm in a forum.

Oh i emphasized 'I'm in a forum" again.

Why do I need to talk proper in forum when we as people don't in society. The only time we do is when we at our jobs, handling events, or any professional ventures.

I know the difference between criticism and someone being rude.

RUDE -discourteous or impolite, especially in a deliberate way: a rude reply

CRITICISM -the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything.

MERIT -claim to respect and praise

DO I need to say more.

Like I said there were typos I did not see after reading it over and over.

Marquis Mills

Posts: 37
Registered: 05/06/13
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 7, 2013 5:11 AM   in response to: Mike Beach in response to: Mike Beach
 
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Mike I understand that but you should do it in a professional way.

If they are authors and experienced, then they should criticize it in a civil response....
Marquis Mills

Posts: 37
Registered: 05/06/13
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 7, 2013 5:14 AM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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"This is not the special snowflake forum."

The above comment speaks for itself. Find the definition for it and read it.

12349876ffff

Posts: 756
Registered: 06/09/09
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 7, 2013 5:19 AM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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Marquis said: "Why do I need to talk proper in forum when we as people don't in society. The only time we do is when we at our jobs, handling events, or any professional ventures."

And then Marquis said: "Mike I understand that but you should do it in a professional way."

You asked for advice. You got it. Even Amazon has marked this thread as "Answered."

Best of luck to you.
Malcolm Higgins

Posts: 15
Registered: 04/06/13
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 7, 2013 5:31 AM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
 
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oh boy... I am so out of this thread!
You are so rude.End of subject.
elementumvita

Posts: 284
Registered: 12/07/11
Re: I need a Review for "Island of Yoi"
Posted: May 7, 2013 5:32 AM   in response to: Marquis Mills in response to: Marquis Mills
Correct
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This forum is always a sure thing for a good laugh when I take a break from writing. Thanks for the chuckle...adios!
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